I.
My apartment doesn't allow dogs
yet my upstairs neighbor's dog barks
anytime a floorboard creaks
and I wonder at the nerve.
II.
I spent the day awash in action steps,
the self-declared love language
of a professor I once had.
I turned to the person seated
next to me and I said, "George,
I'm the sort who looks at the pile
of Popsicle sticks and thinks
how can we just use these
instead of applying for another
round of grants. "I'm not saying
it's a permanent solution,
but it's easier than groveling
for cash," I add while George
smiles wryly on.
III.
Later, I'd sprawl on my bed,
still in my Sweater Weather attire,
my body akimbo like someone
should trace me with chalk.
My phone would ping with a message
from someone who knows me
all too well, sharing a podcast
he simply knows I'll like.
Somehow it's this
that shakes me out of my stupor
and sends me to the shower
where I stand in the steam,
waiting to see what song
will play next.
IV.
It's a game I play sometimes
with the spirits -- an ask
and answer, if you will.
I pose a question and hit
shuffle, often delighted
by the lyrics served up
in succession. Tonight,
the first tune went
We say "I love you"
but we ain't together
followed by what's goin' on,
coyly answered with rumour has it
I'm the one you're leaving her for.
It made me laugh because,
as the next song declared,
it's a mad world.
V.
My neighbor's dog goes quiet
and I wonder what makes it
get so frantic sometimes.
I wonder what makes me get
so frantic sometimes.
I wonder when all of this
exhaustion will exhale
out of me, my lungs
so cleanly emptied
and ready to be refilled.
I wonder when my healed
soul will shed its final pound
of fear. I wonder, I wonder,
as the final song trails off:
Hey you, say you wanna
start over again...?
Zora Raglow-Defranco gave me a dog, a Popsicle, and a sweater.
2023
Virtual Tip Jar: Venmo @sarahwolfstar
