Monday, January 12, 2009

Portrait in a Rearview Mirror (poem)

It’s uncanny.

Somehow, I am more beautiful

when you’re around.

How does that happen, so suddenly,

so unexpectedly. I barely recognize myself.

This must be happy. There in the reflection.

I never say this out loud to anyone,

not even you. That’s not who I am –


the girl who thinks she’s the most beautiful

creature in space. I am the girl

who looks past her mirror image

to see who else is reflected.

I spend my life searching through backwards

phantoms, not flesh, but light and glass,

and I hope for the best for us all.

But if I tell the truth, I am not happy


most of the time. I am flawed

and it is dangerous to exist so close

to this breakable surface. I could smash

my fist into this pane most days,

but I won’t. Because there are moments

where this is worth it. Enough

to keep me smiling and laughing

for the crowd. There is always a crowd,

too, that is also uncanny.

Oh, I wish they’d all just take a step back

because those objects appear too close

as it is. But you, you could take a step up,

put your hand on my shoulder, and I could smash

this mirror and be beautiful without ever looking.

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