Used to this (poem)

I. You, you broke my heart again
(and not for the last time, I know).
That was tonight
II. and I had a dream
where you leaned into me and said
your girlfriend was blowing you
off tonight and you kissed me,
broken with passion, and I was surprised
by how quickly you walked away.
Stunned, I’d say, both of us.
III. There was a time before
where I meant everything I said
and you would listen and you would
react.
IV. Like the time I had a dream
you were swimming with my nephew
at least a year from now and my mother
greeted you warmly with a splash.
You looked at me and smiled and tossed
my nephew up for the water to catch.
V. I don’t know what to think anymore
I only know that I cannot choose
not to love you. Not even subconsciously.
Or especially. I am at a loss.
I am used to this.