"Are you hiding in your bed right now?" the concerned voice of her best friend Valerie piped through.
Evelyn tensed. "No," she lied.
"I'm one block away," Valerie said. "Be outside when I get there."
Evelyn sat up, staring at phone and the now disconnected call. She wanted to be able to offer and excuse but she there was no time for that. Valerie simply knew her too well -- and she knew that she'd be outside waiting for her, just as requested.
Evelyn got out of bed, swapped her pajama pants for yoga pants and left the sweatshirt she'd slept in on as she spent all of thirteen seconds brushing her teeth and another thirty seconds peeing before clambering down the hallway to look out her front window.
Sure enough, Valerie was there, her head hanging out the open window as she laid on the horn. "C'mon, Ev," she yelled loud enough for Evelyn -- and Evelyn's neighbors -- to hear her.
"God, she can be so embarrassing," Evelyn muttered as she shoved her bare feet into a pair of TOMS and all but stomped down the hall, down the stairs, and outside, with the hurried hope that Valerie wouldn't lay on the horn again.
With her arms folded defensively across her chest, Evelyn continued to stomp over to the curb where Valerie was parked.
"Hey, girl," Valerie said, suddenly chipper. "Get in," she added.
Evelyn shook her head. "I'm not ready," she said.
Valerie swallowed hard and looked back at her steering wheel for a minute. Taking a deep breath, she swung her gaze back over. "You are ready," she said. "I will be with you, as much as I can be with you."
Evelyn swayed, a nervous swirl flooding her gut. "I know, but..."
Valerie looked at her, insistent. "We talked about this."
Evelyn nodded and looked away. "I know, but..." she repeated.
"No 'buts,'" Valerie insisted. "Get in. I left my kid with my mother for this. You know she's going to try to make Rainy memorize Bible verses but this was important -- I needed to be here for you. So, we're going."
Evelyn smiled despite herself, imagining Valerie's mother Augusta sitting four-year-old Rainy down to make her sing Bible verses to the tune of things like "On Top of Old Smokey" or "Three Blind Mice." She'd done the same thing to her when she and Valerie first became friends in the seventh grade. "Mom, you're being weird," Valerie had said as her mother made Evelyn sit next to her on the piano bench to sing with her. "Makes it easier to remember the word of our Lord," Augusta had lilted in return.
"Come on, Ev, get in," Valerie repeated, pulling Evelyn out of her memory.
She nodded. "OK," she conceded, walking around to the passenger's side and doing as she was told. Valerie's car smelled like cigarettes and orange blossoms and nothing made Evelyn feel more safe, especially with Valerie in the literal driver's seat, empowering her to do even this thing she'd been dreading to do.
Valerie reached over and put a comforting hand on Evelyn's arm. Instinctively, Evelyn wrapped her free hand's fingers around her friend's.
"Ready or not," Valerie said her eyes locked on Evelyn's.
"Ready or not," Evelyn said, her heart beating in her throat.
His jaw set and re-set as she shifted from one foot to the other, almost in perfect synchronicity with him.
"How'd this happen?" he asked in an eerily quiet voice.
Evelyn let out a burst of laughter. "Oh, god, I thought for sure the first thing you were going to ask was is it mine," she said.
Matty's eyes darkened. "We always used protection," he went on, ignoring her. "How'd this happen?"
Evelyn sighed and pressed a hand against her face. "Jurassic Park," she offered with a shrug,
"What?" Matty asked.
"Nature finds a way," Evelyn said, swallowing hard and looking away from him.
"Well, this sucks," Matty said.
Evelyn looked sharply back at him. "Yeah," she said, her insides growing cold.
"Are you planning on keeping it?" he asked, his voice clipped.
"I... I don't know... I mean..." Evelyn sputtered.
"You're telling me you're pregnant," Matty stated. "Why would you tell me unless you were going to keep it?"
Evelyn felt tears spring to the corners of her eyes. "I guess I thought you had a right to know," she said, her voice thick. "You know, before I make any... decisions."
Matty nodded and looked at the ground. "For the record, you could have skipped telling me," he said.
For as cruel as that statement could be, Evelyn could detect true sadness in his voice. "I'm sorry," she said.
"Yeah?" Matty asked, still not looking at her.
"I'm sorry things didn't work out between us," she explained. "I'm sorry we didn't want the same things. I'm sorry you weren't able accept what I could offer. But the thing is, I do care for you a great deal. I... I love you," she emphasized.
At that, Matty looked up. "Not enough to marry me but maybe enough to have my baby?" he asked with a irony-tinged smile.
Evelyn folded her arms across her chest and heaved her shoulders up near her ears before letting out another loud sigh. "I'm not sure I'm going to have your baby, either," she offered.
Matty shook his head. "Yeah, OK," he said. "Anything else?"
Evelyn froze. "I guess not," she said after a moment.
Matty pushed off the brick wall and practically marched past her on his way back in. "Let me know what you decide -- or don't," he said. "That's up to you," he added at a slightly louder pitch.
"Tell me about it," she muttered, a queasy feeling filling her gut.
"None of your business," Valerie said, protectively pulling Evelyn towards her.
Evelyn, though, shrugged her off. "Yes, I'm pregnant," she confirmed. "Hungry, too. Are those for me?"
Anne practically threw the plate on the table. "Anything else?" she asked icily.
"Not from you," Evelyn said lightly, picking up a fork and digging into her breakfast.
As Anne spun around and walked away, Valerie thwaped Evelyn on the shoulder. "When did you become such a bona fide badass?" she asked, genuinely impressed.
Evelyn tilted her head thoughtfully. "Maybe I'm already a Mama Bear," she said before going back to her breakfast.
Valerie, too, dug into her pancakes and the friends sat side by side in the booth like that until Meg brought them their check a little while later.
"So, listen, I heard some scuttlebutt around the ol' water cooler," Meg said, sliding into the booth across from them.
"Oh yeah?" Evelyn and Valerie said in almost perfect unison.
"I'm not sure of the details, but..." Meg leaned in closer so Evelyn and Valerie did the same. "I think Anne might be knocked up," she hiss-pered.
Evelyn chortled. "What?" she gulped.
"I saw Anne and Matty having an intense conversation and I heard pregnant come up. Well, actually, I read Anne's lips, so..."
Evelyn waved her off. "I can't let you think that," she said. "Anne's not pregnant -- I am."
Meg sat up so fast she jolted the table. "The fuck?" she yelped.
"That's how it's done," Evelyn said, suddenly feeling cheeky.
"I tell ya, give this woman her french toast and she lets loose," Valerie said, her head resting on Evelyn's shoulder.
"So, you're pregnant?" Meg asked again. "Like, pregnant-pregnant?"
"Is there a way to be only pregnant?" Evelyn asked quizzically.
"I'm just stunned. You and Matty didn't break up that long ago and you're already pregnant?" Meg said.
Now it was Evelyn's turn to thwap Valerie on the shoulder. "Well, Matty didn't assume the baby wasn't his but someone in this story was bound to," she said, suddenly catching a case of the giggles.
"Wait, it's Matty's?" Meg gasped.
"That might explain why his new girlfriend is so pissed off," Valerie said, giggling now, too.
Meg leaned back in her seat and spread her hands on the table. "When I came into work today I didn't see this comin'," she said. "Hot damn."
"Life truly is full of surprises," Valerie said, nudging Evelyn to get up. "I gotta go get Rainy from my mom's," she said.
Evelyn understood this as code for we gotta go before something becomes truly unhinged. "Oh, of course," she said, getting up so Valerie could slide out behind her.
"See you around, Meg," Evelyn said loudly so that all of Moe's could hear her.
"See you 'round," Meg joked with a literal wink and a wave as the two friends made their way back outside.
Standing on the sidewalk, Evelyn couldn't believe how much lighter she felt compared to how she'd felt when they'd arrived at Moe's an hour earlier. Valerie linked arms with her and the two of them all but skipped across the street to the car. Once they climbed in, Valerie turned to her and asked, "OK, where to next?"
Evelyn thought about it for a moment before replying, "I think I'm ready to go back home."
Valerie smiled. "OK, let's get you home then."
Evelyn leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes while Valerie hummed loudly along with the radio. There was something so balanced about this moment in her life, like an unnecessary weight had been lifted cleanly off her shoulders. By the time Valerie was parked outside her apartment building, Evelyn felt like a completely brand new woman.
"Thanks for making me do that," she said, unbuckling her seat belt.
Valerie leaned over from the driver's seat and gave her a hug. "My pleasure," she said. "Call me later?" she added as Evelyn opened her door.
"Only if you don't call me first," she teased before heading back inside.
***
She'd lived alone in this apartment for almost exactly one year. Before that, she'd lived off and on with Valerie's family, in between boyfriend gigs, as she like to put it. She'd never felt confident about putting down solid roots and even when she was moved in with a boyfriend, she largely lived out of her suitcases and cardboard boxes, something her partners only sometimes realized was a bad sign.
That all changed, though, when she and Matty really first committed to each other. They'd started out as friends-with-benefits that had escalated to occasionally dating until about a year and a half ago when she'd lugged her last box back over to Valerie's after deciding that the boyfriend-of-the-moment wasn't who she was focused on.
It was Matty.
As she sat on the bed in Valerie's guest room, she took a deep breath and called him on the phone, something unheard of in their text-heavy communication style. He answered, though, uncertainly, almost as if he'd never used this phone device to communicate via that specific avenue of technology.
"I moved back in with Val," was all Evelyn said.
It was enough. Matty knew what that code meant. He was over at Valerie's house fifteen minutes later, a place at the dinner table already set for him.
One week later, though, when Matty first started suggesting she could crash with him, that's when Evelyn's gut took over. "I think I'm going to look for my own place," she said, really to no one but herself. She could afford it. She was being paid a decent salary -- certainly more than she'd been able to depend on during her waitressing and retail days -- so maybe it was time.
"Do you want me to look at places with you?" Valerie had asked the next morning over coffee and cereal.
Evelyn's eyes were trained on dear, sweet Rainy who was running wildly around the kitchen with one of Valerie's old Barbie dolls, pretending the doll could fly. "I think I got this," she said, only modestly certain she could do this on her own.
But do it she did and within two weeks, she signed the lease on her first solo apartment. The day she moved in, Valerie brought over some extra kitchen stuff, like pots and pans and plates, and surveyed the minimal furniture.
"I'm really proud of you, Ev," Valerie said, kissing her friend on the cheek before continuing on to go about the business of putting the kitchen supplies away.
Evelyn swore she could hear the echo of Valerie's housewarming blessing as she made her way back inside and flopped on the couch she bought during the third week after her move-in. She loved the couch -- it was light blue and soft, not like the stiff uncomfortable couches her parents always seemed to select for her childhood home. Laying on the couch now, Evelyn stared at the ceiling, her hands automatically gravitating towards her lower abdomen, almost as if to add warmth for the fetus growing inside of her.
"What are we gonna do?" she asked out loud before realizing what she'd said. We. Instinctively, she reached for a pillow and hugged it against her chest.
***
"Spinning," Valerie all but growled before adding, "I brought you workout clothes."
Evelyn laughed despite herself. "Shannon's teaching?" she asked.
Valerie nodded. "We need to get our asses kicked out of the saddle," she confirmed.
Through her work as a web designer, Valerie had a complimentary membership at a fitness club that was for women-only called, quite cleverly, Workouts for Women. She'd upgraded their website maybe two years ago, but the membership seemed to remain active and without time restraints -- or guest restraints -- so Valerie and Evelyn were very feast-or-famine on their status as gym rats. They happened to be in a famine mindset at the moment, but from the second Valerie named their destination, Evelyn could already feel her endorphins activate.
"I don't even like spinning," she said to Valerie as they made their way into the studio for class.
"Me, neither," Valerie confirmed, linking her arm with Evelyn's as they made their way to their "usual" bikes.
They had stumbled upon both spinning (and Shannon's class specifically) by accident. They thought they were attending a Zumba class, but when they walked in the room and saw the rows of bikes, they felt too sheepish to back out, especially with other students streaming in behind them. They'd snagged bikes in the back room and looked at each other as if this might be the last hour of their lives, but somehow -- somehow -- they not only made it through, they also developed little girl-crushes on Shannon while they were at it. Shannon was nearly sixty-years-old, all of four-foot-eleven inches and a rock-solid muscle. She always wore her white-grey hair back in a tight bun widely wrapped with a neon pink ribbon. She gave zero-fucks and had no mercy. When you were a student in her spinning class, you were going to work.
"If I'm even half as badass as Shannon when I am that age, please build me a statue in my front lawn," Valerie would say, dripping with sweat as she and Evelyn would make their way to the café for a smoothie.
"If I'm half as badass as Shannon when I'm that age, I'll probably be dead from exhaustion of so much badassery," Evelyn would joke.
On this particular day, both Valerie and Evelyn were separately called out for being lazy (cardinal sin in Shannon's classes) but it somehow made them both leave the studio with massive grins on their faces. Still sweaty messes, they went directly to the café for their smoothies -- Evelyn always got a strawberry/mango while Valerie got a lime/mint one -- and collapsed into a booth near the entrance. They liked to look out on the manmade pond behind the gym.
"Plastic swans are in," Valerie noted. "Must be spring."
"Well, look who it is."
The new voice made both Valerie and Evelyn's heads turn in unison.
Anne stood looming above them.
"Oh, hey, girl," Valerie said slowly.
Anne ignored her and stared at Evelyn. "What you said earlier, did you mean it?" she asked.
Evelyn thought back to their text message exchange, which felt like days ago at this point. "Of course," she said, unblinking.
Anne shifted. "I think Matty wants to break up with me. Or maybe he already broke up with me. Can I sit down with you for a minute?" she asked.
Evelyn shot Valerie a look. Valerie shrugged without moving a muscle.
"I mean, OK," Evelyn said as Anne immediately slid into the seat next to Valerie.
"I really like him," Anne said in a low voice, almost as if it was possible that Matty might overhear them.
Evelyn nodded patiently. "I get that," she said. "I don't know what else to tell you besides I'm not trying to get in the way of whatever you two have going on."
"Right, except that you showed up out of the blue and told him you were pregnant with his baby," Anne said, almost as if she were recapping her favorite reality television show. "I don't get why you did that if you don't want him back."
Evelyn felt her cheeks get red as Anne continued to stare intently at her. "I mean, um..."
"I made her do it," Valerie butted in.
Anne swung her gaze over in her direction. "Why? Do you want Evelyn and Matty to get back together?"
"No," Valerie said immediately.
"Then why," Anne demanded.
"Matty deserves to know," Valerie said. She paused a moment and then added, "He thinks he's so fucking perfect."
Both Evelyn and Anne balked.
"He's a control freak and the definition of 'woke' toxic masculinity," Valerie went on her, her cheeks getting red. "He thinks he's the most moral, most blameless, most heroic form of manhood and he just isn't all that."
Evelyn bit her lip. She'd certainly heard Valerie rant about Matty's character before, but usually only behind closed doors. "I think what Valerie means is that Matty has a history of being judgmental about other people he knows who have, um, ended up in this situation," Evelyn offered.
Valerie pointed an affirming finger at Evelyn. "Yes, that part."
Anne's gaze swung back and forth between them. "I didn't know that," she said finally.
Evelyn sipped her smoothie. "He hasn't told you about his friend Samantha and how she went and got an abortion?" she asked, as if she were asking if Anne had tried the new taco place in town.
"No," Anne said softly.
"Well, he will," Evelyn said. "The short version of the story is that they used to be really close friends and then Samantha got an abortion and he basically canceled her from his life."
Anne's eyes welled up with tears. "I... I had no idea," she said.
Valerie observed Anne carefully. "Did you know that Matty paid both Evelyn and me a visit this morning?" she asked, her tone suddenly softening.
Anne stared at the table. "I knew about Evelyn," she said miserably.
"Well, he came to see me, too," Valerie said. "Do you know why he'd do that?"
Anne shook her head.
"He wanted me to convince Evelyn, my dearest friend, to get back together with him, even though he knows I think he's a phony schmuck," Valerie said.
Anne's entire body slumped a little more. "Oh," she said.
"Listen, Anne, I don't know you. But I can tell you that you deserve to be treated better than he's treating you right now," Valerie said.
Anne suddenly sat up straight and stared at Valerie. "You're right. You don't know me," she said, suddenly getting up and stalking away from them.
Evelyn slurped at her smoothie as she watched Anne disappear around a corner. "Do you think she'll be done with him now?" she asked, almost to no one.
"Do you care?" Valerie asked, her eyes narrowing.
Evelyn half-shrugged. "She seems nice, that's all," she said.
"So?" Valerie challenged.
"So I hope she'll be ok," Evelyn said.
Valerie leaned back in her seat. "Human to human, sure. But honestly? She's far down on the list of people I'm worried about."
Evelyn raised an eyebrow. "Who's at the top of your list?" she teased.
Valerie smiled almost sadly. "When are you going to make your decision?" she asked.
Evelyn paused thoughtfully. "Soon," she said. "Obviously."
"I don't control you, you know," Valerie said. "It was shitty of Matty to indicate that I could."
Evelyn reached over and took Valerie's hand. "I haven't always been as strong as you," she said. "But now all of that is starting to change."
***
After work the next day, Evelyn got off the bus a stop early to pick up some bananas from the grocery store. For the most part, she had her groceries delivered or she'd tag along with Valerie on a trip to CostCo, but when she was running low only on bananas, Evelyn would make an exception to brave in-person shopping.
She dreaded grocery stores.
They always felt overwhelming to her and full of temptations. Once she'd made the switch to grocery delivery, she was less likely to end up with a pantry full of cupcakes instead of a crisper drawer full of kale, like she had now.
But for bananas, she'd brave it.
She'd learned to become laser focused on her mission when entering the palace that is Andres' Market, the local grocery chain. She knew exactly where the produce was and exactly which self-checkout she could easily enter produce without the alarm bell ringing to request assistance. Marching through the automatic doors, she put on her imaginary blinders and went for it.
She went for it so much so that she ran right into another human body with an uncomfortable thud.
"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry, I wasn't paying attention..." she began, feeling a bit dazed.
"Wait, Evelyn?" said a familiar voice. "Evelyn Jarrett, voted Most Likely to Succeed by the Victory Elks Class of 2006?"
Evelyn blinked and stared at the person making these Wikipedia-esque sounds related to her life. Suddenly, her entire body was blushing. "David Morrison, voted Most School Spirit by the very same class?" she asked slowly.
He grinned and held out his hand. "The one and only," he confirmed.
Evelyn's jaw hung slightly agape as she unwittingly grinned with every cell in her body and gave his hand an enthusiastic shake. "Holy shit, what's it been? Fifteen years?" she asked.
David's fingers lingered in hers with the other hand cupping briefly, just long enough for her to notice the wedding band on his finger. "Maybe our five year reunion?" he guessed. "That was, what, twelve years ago?"
Evelyn nodded, suddenly folding her arms across her chest to tuck her hands under her armpits. "I think you're right," she said.
"Did you go to the ten year reunion?" they both asked at the same time before they laughed and echoed, "No, I didn't go."
"Wow, David, I thought you were living in San Fran or somewhere out West," Evelyn said.
"I was," he confirmed. "My mom's been sick, so I've been back here in Cleveland for a couple of weeks."
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," she said. "Is everything... ok?"
David's smile turned sadder. "Honestly, it's not a good prognosis. I mean, luckily, I can do my work remotely but if I had the choice of hanging out here or in San Francisco, I'd pick San Fran," he said as an attempt at humor.
Evelyn felt herself flinch. "Right, of course, I mean, it's none of my business -- I'm sorry to ask such a personal question," she said.
David waved her off. "Not too personal. You are Evelyn Jarrett. You can know anything about me that you want," he said, his smile beaming once more.
Evelyn grinned, her hands now dropping into her pockets. "Can I know why you turned me down when I asked you to be my date for freshman homecoming?" she teased.
David threw his head back as he guffawed. "Oh, wow, you really went for it there," he said. He paused and took a step closer, his voice dropping. "I didn't say no sophomore, junior, or senior year, though, did I," he reminded her.
Evelyn felt the same butterflies he used to give her back in high school. "No, you sure didn't," she said softly.
Just then a ping came from David's pocket and it seemed to break him out of a trance. "Look, I gotta get going," he said, indicating to his cart. "Dinner won't make itself, unfortunately."
"Right," Evelyn said a little too quickly. "It was really cool to run into you."
"Literally," David teased, rubbing his arm where she'd smacked straight into him.
Evelyn put her hand briefly over her eyes. "Sorry again about that," she offered.
David pulled his phone out of his pocket. "How about I let you make it up to me," he said. "Maybe we could grab a drink tomorrow evening? Maybe 6pm at Dorian's?"
"Sure," Evelyn said as David handed her his phone for her to type in her contact information.
He put his phone back in his pocket and beamed at her. "Is a hug ok with you?" he asked, starting to open his arms.
"Oh, hell yes," Evelyn said, allowing her body to be folded into his. She breathed him in and was dizzy with the familiarity of being this close to him.
As he let her go, he kissed the top of her head, an old habit if there ever was one, and started to push his cart away.
"See you tomorrow," Evelyn called after him.
"See you tomorrow," he called back as he waved, his wedding ring catching the light as he moved.
She just stood there, watching him go, absolutely stunned by this turn of events.
***
Evelyn wandered through the early part of that evening in a fog, buying her bananas and walking the four blocks back to her apartment. Her brain barely had the bandwidth to process this new bit of information: David Morrison was in town. She had a date tomorrow night with David Fucking Morrison.
Then she remembered the wedding ring and felt a blush in her cheeks. It wasn't a date. It was just old friends catching up. It was the punctuation mark on the end of meet-cute between old friends running -- literally -- into each other in the produce aisle.
Even so, there were baby-butterflies in her gut as she replayed their conversation. The way he laughed, the way he'd so confidently folded her body against his body, sheer joy in his eyes. Had she brought that out in him or was he genuinely still the same happy-go-lucky kid she dated off and on through high school?
She wasn't the same happy-go-lucky kid anymore. It felt foreign to her that anyone could maintain that same teenage freshness about life.
After Evelyn showered and put her pajamas on, she dug for a box under her bed and felt triumphant when she found it: old yearbooks and pictures and keepsakes from high school, a box so thick with dust it made her sneeze as she pried off the lid. Inside, though, were countless memories, dimmed or turned off completely until they were right in front of her. She flipped to the page in her Senior Year Yearbook where she stood with flexed arms interlinked with her male counterpart in the Most Likely to Succeed category. Evan Kohl. Evelyn and Evan, inseparable kindergarten through twelfth grade, always one-upping each other in their quest for over-achievement.
Evelyn smiled sadly as she traced her finger first over those words Most Likely to Succeed and then paused to take in Evan, his goofiness and kindness jumping off the page at her. He'd been killed in a drunk driving accident during their freshman year at college, something that shook their core group of friends, no one more so than Evelyn. Besides Valerie, no one had ever so readily understood Evelyn better than Evan. In a twist of fate, Valerie was with Evelyn when she found out about Evan's death. They were in their dorm room at Kent State University when Evan's mother called with the news. At the time, Valerie and Evelyn's friendship was new -- but going through this experience bonded them in ways that no other life experience ever could.
"I can't be Evan," Valerie had said weeks later when the two of them were walking to class one morning. "But I can be here for you."
As Evelyn thought about that now, an invasive thought clouded the memory. When Evan had died, the one person who vanished completely was David. While the rest of their friend group went to the funeral and had their own memorial ritual, David was nowhere to be seen. He never replied to their text chain, he never showed up in any way. Slowly it was dawning on Evelyn why she'd intentionally lost touch with David in the first place. Outside of a quick hi/bye at their 5 year class reunion, she hadn’t spoken to him at all. They weren't even Facebook friends.
Her eyes trailed across the page to where David was wearing the school mascot costume while the head cheerleader Amy Fontaine leapt in the air for their Most School Spirit picture. In hot pink ink, her high school self had turned the mascot's eyes into heart-shapes.
She laid back on the floor with the yearbook open across her chest.
***
Evelyn arrived ten minutes early at Dorian's the next night. She ordered a mocktail called Fuzzy Sanderson -- peach juice, lime seltzer, and a cluster of cherries -- and sat wistfully at the bar. She was so lost in thought that she jumped when David tapped her on the shoulder a few minutes later.
"Still an early bird, I see," he joked, sliding onto the seat next to her.
There was something about being back in his presence that erased any of the doubts or anxiety she'd been feeling up until this moment. "I can't believe you remember that kind of stuff," she said, stirring her drink.
"Of course I remember. You being an early-is-on-time person made me an early-is-on-time person," he said with a grin before clearing his throat. "My, uh, wife thanks you for that, by the way."
Evelyn's smile dimmed ever so slightly. "I'm happy to help," she said.
"She stayed in San Fran," David went on, his eyes wandering the rows of alcohol behind the bar. "We have a seven-year-old -- Charlie. He's in school so we didn't want to disrupt that by bringing him out here."
Evelyn nodded. "That makes sense," she said lightly.
"What about you? Husband, kids?" he asked, his attention more on trying to get the bartender to notice him.
"Oh, um, no on both accounts," Evelyn said, swallowing hard. "At the moment, at least."
The bartender came over at that moment and David ordered a Great Lakes beer. "Can't get these back in Cali," he said, hoisting his glass to cheers with her.
Evelyn complied. "Ohio welcomes you," she said with a grin as she clinked her glass with his.
"So, tell me everything," he said after taking a sip and setting down his glass. "Catch me up on the last ten years."
"Give or take," Evelyn joked.
"Give or take," David returned with a laugh.
Evelyn opened her mouth to give her elevator speech about her R&R life turned into a Communications Associate work spiel, but first she hesitated then she closed her mouth. She stared into her drink for a moment and then locked eyes with David.
"Can I ask you something first?" she said, her words drawn out slowly.
"Of course, ask me anything," David said, taking a healthy sip of his beer.
Evelyn felt her cheeks get warm. "Well, see, I was looking through our yearbooks last night..." she began.
"Man, it's been ages since I've looked through that old stuff," David said.
"Yeah, I mean, same," Evelyn said. "But, well, it made me think... About Evan."
David's face paled at the mention of their old friend. "Yeah?" he said.
"I'm not sure how to ask this..." Evelyn began, her cheeks now blazing red.
"You want to know why I didn't come to the funeral," David said.
"Well... Yes," Evelyn said.
It was David's turn to stare into his drink.
"Well, well, well, look who we have here."
The bubble around David and Evelyn burst as they both turned to see a bleary-eyed Matty stumbling towards them with Anne right on his heels.
"What are you doing at a bar?" Matty asked, standing uncomfortably close to Evelyn.
She shirked away from him. "Hanging out with my friend, not that it's your concern," she said.
"I'm sorry, Evelyn, Matty's a little drunk," Anne offered as an apology.
Evelyn shot her a no shit look. "I noticed," she said stiffly.
David's eyes were ping-ponging back and forth. "Hi, I'm David," he offered, holding his hand out to Anne.
"I'm Anne and this is my..." she paused and cleared her throat. "This is Matty."
"I gathered," David said, now reaching his hand out to shake Matty's.
"Who's David?" Matty asked, staring intently at Evelyn.
"Her date," David said quicker than Evelyn could respond.
Matty looked fiercely at David. "Where'd you come from?" he asked.
Evelyn stood up from her seat at the bar and put a hand against Matty's chest to back him up. "David is an old friend from high school," she said.
"Then why did he say he was your date?" Matty pressed. "Is this a date? Are you on a date at a bar?"
Evelyn narrowed her eyes. "It is literally none of your business what I'm doing, Matty," she said in a low voice.
Anne tried to pull Matty back away from the bar. "We should go," she said apologetically.
Matty barely budged. "It is my business," he said to Evelyn. "You can say it's not all you want but it is and you know it."
Evelyn folded her arms across her chest. "For once, you're the mess in this equation," she said. "Please take a step back from me."
Anne forcibly pulled Matty away. "We should go," she repeated, this time with greater urgency.
Matty turned and looked at Anne for a long moment before sweeping her up in his arms and kissing her. Evelyn could see the way Anne melted in his arms -- it was so evident that she was smitten by even this drunk and disorderly version of Matty. So it only made her wince all the more when Matty let Anne go and spun around to smirk at Evelyn.
"We should go," he echoed before grabbing Anne by the hand and marching her back out the door.
Evelyn watched them disappear, feeling partly relieved and partly worried for Anne.
"That was... something," David said, breaking Evelyn's spell and returning her to her seat.
"To think, I used to date him," she mused.
"You sure know how to pick 'em," David teased.
Evelyn chuckled. "Don't I know it."
"Why did he think it was so inappropriate for you to be on a date in a bar?" David wondered out loud. "It seemed to be... not strictly jealousy."
Evelyn sighed and looked at the floor. "I'm pregnant," she confessed.
David's eyes flashed immediate understanding. "With that guy's kid?" he balked.
She nodded. "Yeah," she said with a tiny shrug. "Ooops."
David leaned back in his chair. "Wow," he said. "Maybe we shouldn't be in a bar, then, unless... Are you... Not going to keep the baby?" He paused. "I'm sorry, that's none of my business. Forget I asked that last part."
Evelyn shook her head. "It's OK," she said. "Truth be told, I don't know what I'm going to do about my pregnancy yet. I have to decide soon. All I know for sure is that Matty won't be involved."
David raised an eyebrow. "It seems like he'll be a hard guy to get to stay out of it," he said.
"Yeah," Evelyn agreed. She paused and then held up her drink. "This is a mocktail, just so you know."
"I'm no one to judge," David said.
"Is anything about this night going the way you thought it would?" Evelyn asked with a teasing smile.
David grinned from ear to ear. "Absolutely not," he said. "But I'm happy to be here with you, nonetheless."
Evelyn hopped to her feet and held out her hand. "Let's get out of here," she said.
David interlaced his fingers with hers and beckoned the bartender over. "Let me just settle this tab first," he said with a wink.
Evelyn let go of his hand long enough for him to cash out and then she immediately grabbed hold once more. "I have wine and whiskey at my apartment," she said. "If you don't mind drinking alone."
David laughed as they headed out of the bar. "I'm parked over here," he said, indicating towards a white Jeep parked on the street.
Evelyn clocked the California plates. "You drove here from San Fran?" she asked.
David nodded as he opened the door for her before jogging around to the driver's side. Once he was in, he explained, "I knew I'd be out here for awhile and so it made sense for me to have my car."
Evelyn studied his face in the early evening light. It felt as if she were looking both forwards and backwards through time, which gave her a sudden chill. "How's your mom doing?" she asked to focus her back into the present.
David started the Jeep and Alanis Morrisette blared through the speakers.
You're the sweet crusader
And you're on your way
You're the last great innocent
And that's why I love you
So take this moment Mary Jane and be selfishWorry not about the cars that go by'Cause all that matters Mary Jane is your freedomSo keep warm my dear, keep dry
After a few moments of comfortable silence, David said, "So, you never answered my question from earlier about what you've been up to the last few years." He paused and indicated towards her abdomen. "I've only gotten a snapshot of some, um, recent events."
Evelyn chuckled nervously. "Right," she said. "Why don't we go sit in the living room?" She lead the way gesturing for him to sit on the couch. Her instinct was to sit next to him, but she hesitated and then sat down in the adjacent chair. "What have I been up to... You mean what do I do for work?"
David nodded. "Sure, what do you do for work?" he confirmed.
Evelyn took a sip of her juice. "I work as a Communications Administrator for a publishing company called Clear Windows. Basically, I am in charge of the social media strategy and I write copy for the website and assist the Marketing Director with whatever she might need help doing," she said.
"That sounds like a fun job," David said.
Something in his voice made Evelyn deflate. "Not what you thought the girl voted Most Likely to Succeed would be doing?" she asked.
David set his drink on the coffee table. "I don't think there's one path to 'success,'" he said. "Do you feel like you've succeeded? Because that's the only metric that really matters."
Evelyn thought about it. "My boss... Well, my boss's boss -- Rosa? She's a total inspiration to me. She founded this publishing company as a way to give voice to local, community-based issues. Her husband runs Three Doors." She paused to see if David recognized the nonprofit's name. His eyes widened, indicating he did, so she went on. "Rosa just sees what she wants and goes for it. She's visionary. Honestly, she saw something in me and brought me in on the ground floor with Clear Windows. I was working as a waitress at the time and she just offered me the chance to be part of what she was doing. No one's ever taken that big of a chance on me before."
David raised an eyebrow. "Sounds like you took a chance on her," he said.
"What do you mean?" Evelyn asked.
"Startups can fizzle out pretty quickly," he said. "I should know -- I've worked with a few. It can be a big risk to follow charisma like you did."
Evelyn thought about what he said for a moment. "It wasn't a big risk at all, though" she said. "Rosa was going to succeed -- and I was going to be part of the reason why. So were all of us who started at the beginning with her. Plus, even if it flopped, I could easily go back to being a waitress," she said with a laugh. "Sometimes I wish I could go back to being a waitress."
"Why do you say that?" David asked.
"I like the spontaneity of working with people. You never know who will come into the store or be seated in your station when you work in retail or restaurants -- R&R gigs, I call them. There's something so energizing about that," Evelyn said wistfully.
"So why don't you go back to R&R gigs then?" David asked.
Evelyn waved her hands around. "And give up all of this?" she joked. "Honestly, I was basically homeless for a long time -- living with boyfriends or crashing at my friend Valerie's. Working at Clear Windows gives me financial stability and a healthier lifestyle -- less running from this job to that job and all of that. I get health insurance now," she added. "Plus I can see a real place for me at this organization. I can see myself standing side by side with Rosa on the editorial staff. I just have to put in my time and I know I'll get there."
David reached over and put a hand on her knee. "I know you will, too," he said softly.
Evelyn felt her cheeks flush. "What about you?" she asked. "What kind of work do you do?"
David leaned in. "We're not done talking about you yet," he said.
"We're not?" Evelyn asked.
David shook his head. "I want to know if you still write poetry," he said.
Evelyn blinked at him. "I do," she said.
David leaned in a little more. He recited:
"For You"
to talk about you.
I'm here. I'm in it.
You are on the tilt,
close to a mechanical teeter,
so apt to sway on this fulcrum,
this pivotal point.
Both sides require you to fall.
I am here, though, here
for you -- standing, flat footed
on rock hard solid ground.
Look into my eyes
like you have so many times
and let yourself go.
I am here, I am here,
paced and leveled and anticipating.
David leaned back on the couch and patted the seat next to him. "Come sit by me," he said. "You're too far away."
Evelyn felt a little dizzy as she stared at his fingers spread on the cushion where he requested her body to be. She thought about it for a moment and then got up and moved to the spot he indicated. Their thighs were touching. She watched him breath as he seemed to study her every movement.
"We're not kids anymore," she said quietly. "You have a wife and son. You have a mother who's dying. You have a job and responsibilities."
David's hand moved to her thigh. "And you have a big decision to make," he said just as quietly.
Evelyn felt her heart sink under the many layers of his simple statement. "I do," she agreed. "And I don't know that this is going to make any of that process easier."
David turned his body to face hers. "Evelyn Jarrett, I want to make your life easier not harder. I want to make your decision easier not harder. I want to bring you into this moment in a way that feels easier and not harder."
She reached over and put a hand on his face. "I know you do. But the reality is that you're married and you will be going back to California eventually and I have no idea what my life may turn into over the next few weeks and months. If I decide to keep this baby then I will need to deal with Matty and I will need to figure out how to be a mom and I have no idea how to do either of those things. If I decide not to keep the baby, I'll still have to deal with Matty and I have no idea if I'll feel guilty or regret my choice. And the truth is... As comfortable as I am in this moment, being here with you, right on the verge of..." She paused and bit her lip.
David spread his fingers wide on her thigh. "Yes," he said.
"I just don't know if I can also handle this right now," she said, pulling her hand back and scooting an inch away from him.
David nodded. "That's completely fair and I understand. But the thing is, I have no idea how long I'll be out here with my mom. My wife and my relationship is open. So there is no reason, on my end, to think that if something should happen with you and me that it couldn't evolve into something really meaningful."
Evelyn's jaw dropped. "You and your wife are poly?" she squeaked.
"Well, sure. What did you think, that I was just a cheater?" he joked.
"Given what you confessed to me about you and Evan, I guess, yeah, I detected a pattern," she said.
David winced. "I deserved that," he said.
Evelyn shook her head. "This is just a lot for me to process," she said. "Maybe you should go."
David seemed to drink her in.
Evelyn watched him study her as if she was an intricate work of art. She watched his nostrils as he breathed. She wondered if she was still breathing and made herself take in a steady breath then let it out. The more she paid attention to his breath, the more in-synch she felt with him.
How long have we just been sitting here breathing, she wondered.
It was then that David leaned over and kissed her. Immediately, she sank into the kiss -- she sank into him. It felt like a return home, to be back in his embrace even after all these years apart. That first kiss led to another -- and another. Evelyn lost count after that. She felt so loved and so comforted and so alive in these moments with David. Had it been like this when they were together as teenagers? Was this simply magic re-captured? Her mind erased Matty and any other men who weren't David.
There was only David.
She let him know so, too.
***
Evelyn's alarm went off early the next morning. She woke up, groggy, semi-amazed she had remembered to set it at all. David had left just after midnight to get back to his mother and let the caregiver head home. Even though he wasn't physically still there in her bed with her, she she felt him there. She could smell him in her sheets and she could see the indent where his body had laid next to her for even that short while.
"How did this happen," she muttered to herself, still half-drunk on the beauty of the previous night.
She rolled over to stare at the ceiling, her hands resting on her abdomen. Memories of waking up with Matty started to peek in as she fought off making a comparison between the two. Matty certainly knew what he was doing in the sexual satisfaction department, though it was certainly different than how she felt now the morning after David's return to her bed. With Matty, there was always this sense that Evelyn was a goddess -- his goddess -- his perfect female -- the one he could worship and dote on and elevate high up on a pedestal. But with David, Evelyn felt like she was his equal, that they were on the same team, at the same level, going after the same goal: mutual enjoyment of their time together.
Yet here she was, pregnant with Matty's child, not David's. "If only things could be different," she mused out loud before closing her eyes to savor last night's bliss. Only when her snooze went off did she finally get out of bed and get ready for work.
***
Evelyn opted to walk home from the office at the end of her workday instead of take the bus. She felt a bit like she'd been shot out of a cannon after all of the events of the last twenty-four hours. Her lunch with Valerie lingered on her mind as she walked along, trying to understand why her friend had reacted the way she did.
"You gotta get Matty off my back," was all she'd said when she dropped Evelyn back off at work.
That was the only hint she'd really provided, outside of her general disappointment in Evelyn's decision-making skills.
When she was about two blocks away from home, she detoured into a neighborhood park and sat down on a bench. There were a cluster of families -- mostly moms -- with children that seemed to range from toddler to pre-teen all playing on the playground equipment. Evelyn tucked her feet up and reached into her bag for a notepad she always carried with her. Resting it on her knees, she started to write. She wrote about her general sense of insecurity, her fear about the decisions she had to make, her worry that Valerie might abandon her, her stress over what to do about Matty, and her self-doubt over what David had told her. She wrote and she wrote and she wrote. She filled pages with short phrases and starts of poems. She sat there until the sun started to dip low on the horizon. Then she closed her notebook and walked the rest of the way home.
In her apartment, she went immediately to the shower and set the intention of washing the day away. But when she got out of the shower, dried off, and put on her most comfortable pair of pajamas, all she saw in the mirror was a sad, scared, frustrated woman who had no idea what to do with her life.
Sighing, she sat down at her computer to see if there was anything in her journaling that she could pluck for posterity. But as she scanned the pages and pages of writing she'd done, all of it was gibberish. None of it made sense. And none of it was a fully realized idea.
"No wonder I'm so lost," she muttered out loud.
Her mind then wandered back to the day not long ago when she'd discovered her pregnancy. At first, she'd wanted to deny it and bury it and pretend like it wasn't real. But a voice within her had risen up, taken control, and told her to call Valerie and tell her the news. So she'd obeyed the voice.
Would there be another voice now to tell her what to do next?
Evelyn closed her eyes and prayed for something or someone to save her.
***
Evelyn was lost in a sea of emails when a soft knock came on her office door. The sound, gentle as it was, startled her as she said, "Come in!"
The door opened and in peeked her boss Rosa's head. "Got a minute?" she asked.
Evelyn felt immediately calmer. "Of course," she said, gesturing for her to enter.
Rosa closed Evelyn's office door behind her and then walked around the desk to perch on the edge. She folded her petite arms across her chest and eyed Evelyn thoughtfully. "How's everything going?" she asked in a tone that made it seem as if she knew that something was going on.
Evelyn froze for a moment and then sighed. "Honestly?" she asked.
"Honestly," Rosa confirmed.
Evelyn slid her desk chair back and mirrored Rosa's folded arms. "I'm having a few personal things that are weighing on me," she said.
Rosa nodded in a knowing way. "I kind of suspected," she said.
"What gave me away?" Evelyn teased, happy that she had a boss who just seemed to get her.
Rosa shrugged. "Your energy's been a little scattered," she said before immediately adding, "Not that your work has been off or anything." She paused. "Evelyn the Employee is doing her thing, no problem. But I know Evelyn the Human and she seems... well... like she could use a friend right now."
Evelyn nodded miserably. "It's been a tough couple of weeks," she said.
"Is this because of Matty?" Rosa asked, her face squinching up at the mention of Evelyn's ex.
She sighed again. "It is but it's not but it is," she said with a weak laugh.
"Breakups can be tough," Rosa said. "I know he saw a whole future for you two but I have to give you a lot of credit for knowing that wasn't what you wanted. It's much harder to walk away like you did than just agree to someone else's terms for your relationship with them."
Evelyn smiled. "Wonder where I got that strength from," she teased, thinking of her long discussion with Rosa mere days before Matty had proposed.
Rosa's laugh sparkled. "You got it from yourself, sister, don't let anyone tell you differently."
"Maybe," Evelyn said. "But you helped me clarify my issues with him in a way that no one really has been able to do before, so I thank you for your help."
"Of course," Rosa said. "Before I met Adam, I kissed a lot of frogs. So I get it."
Evelyn chuckled. "There's always more frogs in the pond," she joked.
Rosa grinned. "Why do I feel like you found yourself more of a prince then?" she asked.
"Well, I ran into an old... friend the other day," Evelyn shared. "An ex, this guy I dated in high school. He's back in town for a little while and we've been reconnecting."
Rosa raised an eyebrow. "Really now?" she asked.
Evelyn nodded. "But it's complicated," she admitted.
"How so?" Rosa asked.
Evelyn thought for a long moment about how to express this succinctly. Finally, she blurted out, "I'm pregnant."
Rosa's eyes bugged out of her head. "When did you run into this old friend exactly?" she gasped.
Evelyn laughed. "No, it's not... I'm not pregnant with that guy's baby," she explained.
Rosa's eyes detailed that she was doing the math. "So.... it's Matty's?" she asked.
Evelyn nodded. "Yes, and Valerie made me tell him about it... She made me tell him I was pregnant, even though I don't even know if I will keep this baby or... or not," she stuttered.
A serious calm came over Rosa as she nodded thoughtfully. "Can I say something you might not want to hear?" she asked.
Evelyn chewed the inside of her lip. "Sure," she said.
"Valerie didn't make you do anything," she said, sounding like the big sister Evelyn needed in that moment. "You made the decision to tell Matty. So own that, OK?"
Evelyn nodded miserably. "You're right. I shouldn't blame Valerie, even though she's very pushy," she said with an attempt at a sly grin.
Rosa laughed. "She is. But ultimately, you own your action steps, right?"
"Right," Evelyn sighed.
"So what did Matty do when he found out you were pregnant?" Rosa asked.
Evelyn rolled her eyes up to the ceiling as she tried to piece it together. "He lost his shit," she said after a moment. "He's been showing up places where I am and harassing Valerie and being a dick to his girlfriend..."
"He already has a new girlfriend?" Rosa asked.
"Yes, this woman Anne -- she really likes him, too. I feel bad for her. I didn't know she was in the picture until the day I told Matty about the... about my pregnancy," Evelyn said.
Rosa seemed to be processing all of the information. "So you're dealing with a lot right now," she said after a moment.
"That's one way to put it," Evelyn said.
"What's another way to put it?" Rosa asked.
Evelyn thought for a moment. "I have decisions to make. One really big one," she said, her hands automatically resting on her abdomen.
Rosa reached over and touched her arm. "You're going to make the right decision," she said.
"How do you know?" Evelyn asked.
"Because every decision is the right decision -- it's the one that you made. Everything in this life is about what we can learn from our experiences. And you know what? If you decide to keep the baby, you'll have support. If you decide not to keep the baby, you'll have support. No matter what you choose, you'll have support -- because you are deeply loved," Rosa said, her eyes locking with Evelyn's.
Evelyn felt a tear come to her eye. "Thank you," she said, her voice barely audible.
Rosa pulled her to her feet and gave her a proper hug. "You are deeply loved," she repeated, squeezing Evelyn tight.
"Thank you," Evelyn said again, melting a little in Rosa's embrace.
They stood like that for a good thirty seconds before they let go.
Rosa took a step back and seemed to be assessing Evelyn once more. "I'm glad I responded to this gut feeling that I needed to come check in with you," she said.
Evelyn nodded appreciatively. "I'm so glad you did," she said. "I've been wanting to tell you but everything's been so out of sorts, I just didn't know how to approach you with all of this insanity."
Rosa smiled. "I can understand why," she joked.
"Thank you for caring enough to check in," Evelyn said, slowly sinking back into her chair.
"Of course," Rosa said, making her way to the door. "Just remember: any decision you make is the right decision. Because why?"
Evelyn was used to Rosa's call-and-response technique. "Because I am deeply loved," she confirmed.
Rose nodded curtly. "That's right. Now write that on a post-it and put it on your computer monitor or carry it in your pocket or make it your mantra-of-the-moment," she instructed.
Evelyn reached for her stack of post-its. "Will do," she said as Rosa quietly exited her office.
I am deeply loved she wrote on one post-it. I will make the right decision, she wrote on another.
Posting them both on the bottom of her computer screen, she went back into her inbox, murmuring "I am deeply loved" in a loop for the better part of the afternoon.
***
Evelyn showed up at Moe's Diner fifteen minutes earlier than she told Matty to meet her. He'd chosen the place -- maybe he had a shift starting after their breakfast chat. Evelyn would have agreed to any place, so long as he had the illusion of being in control of their conversation.
"Hey, babe, how's tricks?" Meg asked, materializing by her booth with her pen and paper ready to take her order.
Evelyn grinned at her. "Better than the last time you saw me."
Meg raised an eyebrow. "That's good to hear," she said with a touch of singsong. "What can I get ya? The usual?"
"The usual would be great," Evelyn confirmed as Meg walked briskly away.
Evelyn stared at the table in front of her and tried to channel all of her yoga training into this moment. Her heart was pounding in her chest. Even though she and Valerie had practiced her telling Matty that she was keeping the baby, it was suddenly much scarier than she'd imagined.
"Why didn't I just have Valerie come sit at the bar while I did this," she muttered, almost pulling her phone out to send her friend that SOS.
"Early I see," came an interrupting voice as Matty slid into the booth across from her.
Evelyn felt bile rise in her throat as her eyes widened. She tried to assess him -- was he calm, was he drunk, was he looking for a fight? All she could really know, though, was her intense anxiety to be in her human body in this human moment.
"Yes, bus schedule," she muttered, waving her hand.
"Sure," Matty said, seeing through her exaggeration. "So... what's up? Your text made it seem important."
Just then Meg was back with a glass of orange juice for Evelyn and a curious head tilt for Matty. "What can I get you?" she asked a bit coldly.
"Coffee would be great. And the Greek yogurt with strawberries and granola," he ordered, an extra-large smile on his face.
"Sure," Meg sighed as she walked away.
Evelyn eyed the interaction and gave Matty a look. "What did you do to her?" she asked.
Matty shrugged sheepishly. "I've been kind of an asshole lately," he said. "To you, to Anne, to Meg, to everyone, really."
Evelyn felt a wave of guilt wash over her. "That's probably at least a little my fault," she said.
"I am in control of my actions," Matty said.
"Right," Evelyn said.
"So..." Matty prompted.
"So," Evelyn replied. She took in a deep breath and said the words she and Valerie had rehearsed the night before. "I've come to a decision about my pregnancy." She paused, even though that wasn't what Valerie had thought she should do. Just get the words out quickly, she'd advised. But Evelyn couldn't help it. She wanted to read what Matty hoped she'd say. She wanted to be able to anticipate how to combat his response, whatever it might be. But all he did in that split second was stare intently at her. She continued, "I am going to keep the baby."
Matty's face broke out in a massive grin as he jumped to his feet and let out a whoop. "HELL YEAH," he yelled, rushing to her side of the both to tackle her with a hug. With her folded in his arms, he leaned over to kiss her, which made her push him back so hard he almost fell on the floor.
"I'm sorry," she said meekly as he steadied himself. "Could you please return to your side of the booth and keep your voice down?" She and Valerie had practiced for this exact moment.
Matty did as he was told. "I'm sorry," he echoed. "I'm just so excited to hear you're keeping our baby. I was really worried that you wouldn't."
Evelyn felt her courage growing. "I know you are against abortions," she said. "I know that you've cut ties with people who've received abortions. And I want you to know that I think that's disgusting and wrong and you should be ashamed of yourself."
Matty paled. "I am allowed to feel how I feel about... about...."
"Abortions," Evelyn supplied. "And you're right -- you are. But I am allowed to feel how I feel about how you feel."
Matty stared at the table. "OK," he said.
Evelyn went on. "I want you to know that I am not keeping the baby because I agree with your stance on abortions. I believe every woman has the right to choose and that abortion care should be available to anyone who needs it. I want you to know that I strongly considered getting an abortion and terminating my pregnancy. And I want you to know that my decision to keep this baby was not in any way tied to you or your feelings about what I was going to do. Is that clear," she said as a statement not a question.
Matty's gazed locked with hers. "OK," he said.
"Good," Evelyn said. "I also want you to know that I am planning on raising this child as a single mom. You are welcome to be an involved father to our baby if that is what you want to do. But I will have sole custody. I will set boundaries. And if you decide not to be part of this child's life or you challenge me on the boundaries I set, that will be your decision -- but since we are not married and will not be getting married, a court of law is more likely to side with the mother and also the one with the most steady source of income, which on both fronts here is me. So don't push me."
"Evelyn, I'm not some enemy. You don't have to talk to me like I am one. I want to be a father. I want to be involved. I'm relieved to hear that you're open to that. I know that this isn't the exact way I envisioned our future together, but if we're not going to get married, the next best thing is find a way to co-parent. I can't promise I won't overstep your boundaries. But I will do my best," Matty said.
Evelyn couldn't help but laugh at his raw honesty. "Matty, you're a decent guy. I know I broke your heart and that these past few weeks have been... tough. But I do care about you and I know you'll be a good father and that you will be a great partner for some other lucky woman," she said, reaching across the table to take his hands.
Just then, Meg returned with their orders. "What's this about?" she asked cynically.
Evelyn swung her gaze over to Meg. "We're just making peace and making plans," she said.
Meg indicated back towards the bar when Anne was now standing, drying glasses. "Is she involved in your peace and plans?" she asked.
Evelyn turned back to Matty and squeezed his hands. "I hope so," she said. "She really loves you."
Matty let go of Evelyn's hands and shrugged. "Maybe," he said. "If I ever get over you, then maybe."
Evelyn smiled softly at him. "For the sake of all of us, I hope you can get over me soon," she said.
The conversation meandered to updates about doctor's appointments and baby gear and the like while they ate their breakfast. It made Evelyn remember why she'd been attracted to him in the first place -- he could really hone in on action steps and strategy and how to infuse spirituality and that yogic mindset into everything he did. By the time she paid their tab, she felt even more sure that she'd made the right decision just but how fully enveloped in love she felt.
Getting up from the booth, she pulled Matty into a friendly hug and said, "Thank you for being a good friend to me."
Matty smiled sadly at her. "Of course," he said. "Anytime," he added, waving over his shoulder as he headed over to the bar to talk to Anne.
Evelyn watched as he sat at the bar and leaned across to say something inaudible to Anne, who's worried face seemed to brighten the more he spoke. She grinned and headed towards the door, pulling her phone out as she made her way outside. Scrolling through her contacts, she found just the name she was looking for and hit the call button.
"Hey, David? It's Ev. What are you doing right now and can I come be part of it?" she asked, her laughter sparkling in his inviting response.
This story was written choose-your-own-adventure-style from April 1-April 30, 2023 as part of the Daily Writing Rewind 2023. Thank you to the voters for changing the lives of Evelyn, Valerie, Matty, David, and the rest of the crew!
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